apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize