Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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