An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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