if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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