Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize