i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize