So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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