HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize