so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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