So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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