Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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