Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize