I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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