I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need to align my fucking chakras
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize