I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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