Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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