My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize