Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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