Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just found puke in my bra..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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