I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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