I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize