Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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