For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
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40s are totally the cure
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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