Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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