as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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