Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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