Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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