bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
don't judge my taste in strippers
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize