Can i not drive my cunt home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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