I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is Oprah even human
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize