Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize