I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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