Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize