Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize