This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize