in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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