Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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