There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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