So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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