party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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