they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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