Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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