Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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