Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize