We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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