This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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