we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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