we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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