first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize