Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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